Hey everyone! I'm sorry that it has taken me two weeks to post about our new arrival! And, if you've called or emailed and I haven't gotten back to you, I'm so sorry about that as well.
The delivery of Jacob was completely different than Sam. I just walked into the hospital, got an iv, walked to the or, got a shot in my back, and within about 30 minutes, Jacob was born. David was sitting beside me holding Jacob while the doctor finished the surgery and both of us just stared at him. He is beautiful. He is wonderful. He is a very easy baby and I couldn't be more thankful!
We left the hospital just two days after he was born and I was so ready to be home with Sam! I can't tell you how much I missed my guy. He came to the hospital everyday for awhile, but a hospital is not exactly a fun place for a 2 1/2 year old boy. It felt great to be home even though I couldn't do my normal routine of putting Sam down for his nap or bedtime. Those things made me cry; especially since I was (and am) a walking hormonal mess.
The adjustment from one to two is strange for me. I don't stress about the baby stuff. If he's hungry, he eats. If he's tired, he sleeps. I am not trying to put him on a rigid schedule like I did with Sam. I just want him to be on our schedule and so far, he's been great. We've gone to the museum, storytime, market street, of course chick-fil-a, the methodist church playground and gymnastics. Jacob has gone everywhere with us and has been a trooper! The hardest part of this adjustment is for me. I want Sam to feel like nothing has changed. And, things have changed. I want him to have the same mom that he's always had and I don't ever want him to feel like I'm too busy to play with him...which is a little difficult when I am nursing a baby 8 times a day. Honestly, Sam hasn't fussed once while I have been feeding, but something in me feels guilty. Weird, I know! I'm not sure how many other people feel this way...many people that I talk to don't feel this way, so I may be the only weird one, but it is what the Lord and I are working on. It isn't healthy for me to be everything to Sam even though I want to be.
What is tons of fun is how sweet Sam is with Jacob. He will just sit next to him, kiss him on the nose, look at me and say, "I wuv him." Completely unprompted. Melt my heart. There are lots of times when I think he just completely ignores him, but if Jacob is asleep, he always asks where he is. He likes to help give Jacob baths and he always makes sure that Jacob is coming with us wherever we go. He tells people that Jacob is "his Jacob." So sweet. I know that the first time that Sam makes Jacob laugh, Sam will be totally in love. I can't wait until they play together!
Thank you so much for all of your prayers. I struggled so much with post-partom depression with Sam and I am not having the same deal with Jacob. I do cry a lot, but I don't feel helpless. I think I just cry because I cry a lot anyway and my hormones are completely out of whack. I don't feel like I'll never be able to do this. I know that I am more than victorious in my Jesus and that He chose me to be Sam AND Jacob's mom...and for them to be my sons. And, that He will give me the wisdom I need to raise them. I KNOW that His grace is sufficient and that His mercies are new each day. He is faithful and He is for me...and for Sam...and for Jacob...and for you! I love you all so much!