Sam started gymnastics today and it was a complete disaster! We signed up for a 'Mom and Tot' class at the YMCA. I really did it so that Sam would have to be in a structured environment where he could learn to take instruction (ha!) and could learn to take his turn, etc. Sam is very much like his mommy. He is completely comfortable at home and with people that he feels safe with, but when you put him in a new environment, he completely clams up and just wants to sit in my lap. Literally, if I stood up to participate in the class ( I thought that at least one of us should ), Sam would say "Mama, down" so he could sit in my lap. The absolute worst part was this parachute that they pulled out. I really thought he'd love it because it is so colorful and he is very much into colors right now, but it just terrified him. The instructors had us put the kids in the middle and we were to drag the parachute in a circle so that they could go for a "ride." Every kid was laughing their heads off...not Sam. He was screaming his head off, reaching for me, saying "mama" with tears rolling down his face. It was all I could do to not have them rolling down mine, too! So, I picked him up and carried him. Then, we went to all sit under the big parachute, and I thought he'd be fine sitting in my lap while we all sang the ABC's...nope. I got out from under the parachute and we sat and watched the rest of the class. Then there is "free playtime" after the class, where they bring this ball pit out and a slide and a crawl tunnel. I was just sure that Sam would have fun with this...wrong again. Seriously, we go to the park almost every afternoon and the child crawls through tunnels and goes down slides, but not at the YMCA gym class. Nope, just gonna sit in mom's lap. Thankfully, I got him to throw one of the balls down the slide and then he went down the slide afterwards. I just hope next week is better and that he starts to feel comfortable there. The church nursery took us over 10 months to adjust to!
It is so hard sometimes to stay real when you are with other parents, especially in a situation like this. I am not the competitive type at all, so I know it's not that. I guess it is pride...I hate pride. As soon as the Lord deals with my pride, I think I begin to become proud of my humility and then we are just at square one. Truly the root of all sin has to be pride. It is prideful to think that our way is better than the Lord's way. Anyway, you just want your child to do well and you want everyone to think that you have it all together and that your child is perfect. Even though we all know that not one of us is perfect and neither are our children and I certainly don't have it all together. In fact, I think that everything is falling apart sometimes. It is so hard to accept are own oddities and I think it is much harder to embrace our children's personalities and understand that they are just going to be who they are...we can't change them. Of course, we are called to mold them and shape them, but when it all comes down to it, they are going to have their own personality and they are going to act accordingly. I am not saying that I want Sam to be different than he is; I absolutely love that he is observant and cautious. I love watching him observe and to wonder what he is thinking. It is so precious to see him watch something and try to figure it out, and then do it! I just think that it becomes hard at times when you have your child in a situation where there are ten thousand other personality types. I am so thankful that the Lord accepts and embraces my personality, and even more thankful that He can change ( and does) me, and even more so that He embraces Sam and know exactly how he is going to turn out! I pray that Sam will just love the Lord with all of his heart!